In order to put bread on the table for my children I find myself employed in downtown Washington DC. That means I either need to drive into my place of work or take some form of mass transit. I have chosen to be sanctified through mass transit rather than the more demanding process of sanctification that is driving through the streets of our nations capitol.

So how’s it going?

Well today the battle with my corrupt flesh continued. My habit of late has been to strap on my IPOD from the time I get out of my car until I walk into my office door filling my mind with podcasts of John Piper sermons. Today as usual I was listening to a sermon while leaning forward with my head down so as not to be distracted. You need to know that I have battled with chronic allergies for 12 years – sinus surgery, shots, etc. which mean I have a chronic cough that resembles a desire to remove whatever obstruction is currently affecting my breathing (where’s that Ricola guy with my million dollars??) Apparently I coughed loudly enough to dsturb the woman sitting in front of me (I honestly don’t remember doing it) and she nudged me and pointed to her ears. Thinking my IPOD was too loud I said I would turn it down. She said it was my coughing in her ears. Her method for confronting me was not with a smile and a “I’m sorry would you mind…” but rather with a scowl on her face and a look that said …. well it just wasn’t very gracious.

I find that I’m always pleasantly eager to do for someone who has first been polite and cordial in their request whereas when the request comes from a self-righteous indignant scowling countenance I find a STRONG desire to resist.

I tried this morning to respond by doing what she asked. I sat up. I turned down my IPOD and I made an effort to cough no more until she actually exited the train. Inside however I was seething (all the time continuing to listen to Piper). I thought about all the things I wish I had said. I’d like to repeat them here even… but that would only make me continue in sin….may it never be…

So as I exited the train I realized that I have an expectation that when I respond kindly they will acknowlede my kindness and respond in kind. Rather than expecting to glorify God regardless of the other persons response I tie my obedience to how people react to it.

I’m repenting of this as I write…. I will need to be continually repenting of this.

May I live and do to please my Master though all the world scoff, ridicule, scorn, despise, abuse and malign.