Gossip

This started as a comment to this post at GodLovesLauren on gossiping.

Firstly let me point out that guys can be just as bad about gossiping as any “stereotypical” woman. The female gender does not have this market cornered by any means. I think guys handle it a bit differently and so it may not “look” so much like your genders version of gossiping, but believe me it boils down to the same thing. Which to me is more often about talking “smack” behind someones back. As for the reasons for doing this; I think you pointed out the majority of them but they are quite numerous:

Jealousy – in my business dealings I have seen this numerous times in regards to funding for projects.
Inferiority Complex – this can spin off the same reasons as Jealousy.
Injustice – anything can set this one off. Most times it’s a percieved injury that may not have any reality too back it up.
Pettiness – some people are just plain stinkers and look for any reason to belittle another person, and yes I think it boils down to them trying to make themselves feel better. This is like picking “D – all the Above”.

Maybe we can start a list – if anyone has any more they’d like to flesh out. It might be good to sometimes use them as reminder to ourselves, as I don’t think any of us are totally immune to the lure of gossip.

As for handling gossip in my current place of employment…
I happen to work in an office that’s 95% female so most of the gossiping that I am aware of is by my female co-workers. I”m in a quasi management position but I’m not anyones boss which means I’m a fairly nuetral third party – kind of like Switzerland. This has made for some interesting and sometimes uncomfortable interactions as some of the women seem to feel that they can confide in me. I have personally found that the great majority of the gossip in my office is because of an unfounded sense of being violated. I say unfounded because it usually revolves around someone doing their job in a way that the other person feels is impacting thier job, but no one is willing to talk to each other about this. That’s when I’m sometimes drawn into the fray. My first reaction is to ask if they’ve talked to the other person about the problem. I’ve honestly not heard once, in the 2 years I’ve been here, anyone who has tried to work out an issue. Instead they want to gripe about the problem and then back it up by “gossiping” about other problems with this person.

You also brought up your utter abhorrence with the fact that Christians seem to be no better about this than those in our secular society. I could give you the simple, though somewhat flippant response that, sin is sin and the Christian is just as fallen in this area as anyone else. Excuse me while I go wipe the bad taste from my mouth.
But I honestly believe that it is a sin that must be battled thru just like all the rest. The big difference for the Christian is that we above all others knows how fallen we are. This understanding should leave is in such a state of humility that we would never look with disdain or contempt or jealousy on another.

There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
~Edward Wallis Hoch