Jewish Haiku

By: Rong Posted in humor

From my co-workers wife:

   Lacking fins or tail
   The gefilte fish swims with
   Great difficulty.

  *****

   Beyond Valium,
   Peace is knowing that one’s child
   Is an internist.

   *****

   On Passover we     
   Opened the door for Elijah
   Now our cat is gone.

    *****

   After the warm rain
   The sweet smell of camellias
   Did you wipe your feet?

   *****

   Her lips near my ear,
   Aunt Sadie whispers the name
   Of her friend’s disease.

   *****
   Today I am a man.
   Tomorrow I will return
   To the seventh grade.

    *****

   Testing the warm milk
   On her wrist, she sighs softly.
   But her son’s forty.

   *****

   The sparkling blue sea
   Reminds me to wait an hour
   After my sandwich.

  Like a bonsai tree,
  Is your terrible posture
  At my dinner table.

   *****

   Jews on safari —
   Map, compass, elephant gun,
   Hard sucking candies.

    *****

   The same kimono
   The top geishas are wearing:
   I got at Loehmann’s.

    *****

   Mom, please! There is no
    Need to put that dinner roll
   In your pocketbook.

   *****

   Seven-foot Jews in
   The NBA slam-dunking!
   My alarm clock rings.

   *****

  Sorry I’m not home
  To take your call. At the tone
  Please state your bad news.

  *****

   Is one Nobel Prize
   So much to ask from a child
   After all I’ve done?

   *****

   Today, mild shvitzing.
   Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
   Five-day forecast: feh
   *****

   Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
   Shlemiel . Shlimazl. Meshuganah
   Oy! To be fluent!

   *****

   Quietly murmured
   At Saturday services,
   Yanks 8, Red Sox 7.

   *****

   A lovely nose ring,
   Excuse me while I put my
   Head in the oven.

 

Now to go Googling and see if I can find any Christian Haiku’s

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