I have been doing quite a bit of blog reading this morning, and more than a little crying. I’m sure my co-workers would be much confused if they’d been in my office 30 minutes ago and caught me trying to do my best to stem the flow of tears that ran down my face.
I thank this rare display of emotions to a link from Jared and the incredibly rare story of a child who in not expected to live today – the day of her birth.
Bring the Rain is the blog being written by Angie Smith. Angie found out a few months ago that her 4th child has a number of genetic defects that are most likely going to be fatal. This is her story of dealing with that tragic knowledge. It’s hard to put into words what reading her blog today has meant to me. She’s a phenomenal writer and I’m almost ashamed to say anything more here than, “Go read her blog.”
The thought that kept going thru my mind wasn’t why God would allow this tragedy but thanking God for such an incredible testimony. I know this may sound odd but I couldn’t help thinking how could this woman keep writing from such a faithful heart? How could she possibly continue to love God the way that she does? How could she today, on this day of all days find time to even think of praising Him? And as I thought these things I realized that I was thinking from my own heart, not hers. I read about Angie’s faithfulness and realized my own short comings. I read about her faithful zeal and couldn’t help but not see my own.
I think of all the petty little whiny crap that I worry and complain about and then read what this wonderful woman is going thru and talk about getting a 2×4 upside the head. The word perspective just screams at you from every page. But even more so the word love, like a gently rolling tide keeps washing over all the pain. Love that can only come from Him.
Some where in all of this is God’s love that says I know your pain but that’s not what this is about, this isn’t about pain or you losing your child. This is much bigger than you can imagine. This is about your relying on me. So come all you who are weary and find rest.
For Angie, thank you for sharing your story with me, a total stranger. Thank you for being open and vulnerable and so very transparent. Thank you for allowing me to weep with you.
I pray that our God who has been of such comfort to you, carries you through today and on to brighter tomorrows.
I read though a bit of it too after reading Jared’s post. I was also trying not to cry at work.
I was reminded of dear friends here at church who lost a son a mere few days before he was too be born. He was to have a genetic disorder (I can’t remember what now) and they wrestled through that reality only to learn, in her 40th week, that he had died. She delivered her son, stillborn.
It was heart breaking to go to the funeral, but the lessons his father learned and shared that day, lessons learned from a son he never met, were inspiring and heart warming.