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Archive for ponderings – Page 2

Aug
11

Sweet Dreams

by Rong
A personal dream from years ago.

With no explanation I find myself standing out on a frozen lake in the middle of the night. As my eyes adjust to the dim starlight I recognize my surrounds as being Lake Frank.  I remember as a young teen my friends K.C., Danny and I riding our bikes over to this lake and then tempting fate by riding on it while it was frozen.  Without actually feeling the temperature the unfelt  breeze that’s  blowing the  light powdered snow about is an indicator of just how cold it is.  At first there is no sound but as my surroundings continue to take shape I start to hear my footsteps as I shuffle and slide my way further toward the center of the lake. In the distance, along the shadowy banks of the lake, I can make out the  leafless, barren, winter trees.  Like spectators they stand in silent expectation for some as yet unstated play to unfold. Their stark shadowy forms splay out foreboding and ominous. Their branches appear to reach out as if to take hold of me and pull me into their bosom.  With rising apprehension I hurry my steps.

As I near the center of the lake there is a deep booming that sounds from the bottom of the lake. The echoes from the sound ripple from shore to shore, coming back to me off the low lying hills.  Along with the boom a series of sharper popping and cracking sounds begin that I can feel beneath my feet. Not to be outdone by this cacophony of sounds my heart begins pounding in my chest as I  wonder if my next step will leave me floundering in the icy water. But now there is also a different, more muffled sound reaching my ears.  I continue to make my way to the center of the lake and the noise becomes more distinct. It is a light pounding, almost a slapping  that I hear and it’s coming from directly beneath me.

I look down and all I can see is the milky white surface of the ice. As I continue looking the noise grows increasingly frantic and the ice becomes clearer so that I can see below it. It isn’t the water that I was expecting to see. Instead I’m seeing upturned faces pressed against the underside of the ice. Dozens of faces appear below me with fists pounding, and nails futilely clawing against the bottom of the ice. The faces silently scream in the horror of being trapped beneath the ice with no way to escape.  As I continue to stare down at the faces looking back up at me I somehow realize that they aren’t even aware of my presence.  They aren’t pounding to get my attention, they are pounding because that is the only thing they can do.  The fear and utter horror they feel of where they are drives them in a hysterical desperation to escape.  Yet there is no escape, there is no reprieve, where they are they will remain for an eternity and that knowledge brings complete madness. My mind reels as I’m suddenly given the knowledge to understand everything I’m seeing.  I not only understand what I’m seeing but I now feel the same heart pounding panic as these faces that I see.  I grasp what it is that I’m being shown and that furthers my own fear.  I now know that what I’m see is an image of damned souls in Hell.  Each one trapped in frozen isolation from the one thing that can bring them, warmth, light and love. They are eternally separated from God.  That is what they are frantically trying to get to, and that is what they will try to get to for all eternity.  It is with this agonizing realization that I startle myself awake, drenched in a cold sweat.

It’s been years since I had that dream, but the memories and the images have been burned into my mind. Time has not lessened the feelings of horror and dread that I witnessed in that dream, if anything time has further clarified my understanding. I believe that when we die, we will all be given the opportunity to not just see but know who are Creator truly is. We will feel His majesty to our core. Our spirits will leap in recognition. We will feel His majesty fill our entire being to overflowing and we will weep with the indescribable joy of it all.  However, for those who never called him Lord, like a candle being snuffed out those feelings will be gone, forever. They will find themselves torn from his presence, cast into an eternity of separation.

Hell is knowing what you could have had. Hell is feeling the Glory of God wash over you (even while being condemned) and then knowing you will never feel anything like it again. Hell is finding yourself alone, without any contact or comfort and where the only solace is the memories of your own pitiful existence played out over and over and over and over till then end of all….

There is no end that’s the hell of it.

Sweet dreams,
Rong

2 Categories : piety, ponderings, story
Jul
15

Dreamers

by Rong

We are all dreamers. It’s one of the characteristics that sets us apart from the rest of creation. We are visionaries. We see things thru our minds eye that we have never seen, nor which we have accomplished and yet we form, mold and attempt to create them into being. And we seemingly do this with every aspect of our lives. We envision getting out of school, having particular careers, being in relationships, and having certain possessions. We see ourselves in future eras of our lives and then try to create a path that will get us there. We are our own playwright, the world is our stage and everyone else is an actor in our production. But that is where we get into trouble.

We want to be the god our lives.
“Not so”, you say.
“Who me?! Try to be God?! Why I would never do that”
And yet as we cast our vision on our future we attempt to do just that. And no matter how much you may want to deny that you’re playing God, the truth is we all are.

But it’s how we’re made. We are visionaries because we are created in the image of God. God, being the greatest dreamer, visionary and creator has imparted that same ability to us. Paul David Tripp in his book, Lost In The Middle contends that God gave us this gift so we could see past the reality of this temporal world and thru his Word we would be lead to grasp who he is. That without our ability to envision that which we’ve never seen or even experienced we would forever be blind to knowing God or understanding his love for us.

The problem is we’ve taken this incredibly powerful gift and we’ve all misused it. Instead of dreaming of God and his glory we dream of our own, short lives. We cast the people around us as characters in our play and we are bewildered when they don’t perform as scripted. We imagine future expectations for ourselves and are crushed when the fail to materialize or are left with sorrow when they don’t provide the joy we were sure they would.

So what’s the take away? Are we to stop dreaming? The very thought is laughable, it’s like asking if should we stop breathing. I am always going to be a dreamer, but I have to put my dreams in a different perspective than I have in the past. I have to recognize them for what they sometimes are, humble myself to the pride that they can often create inside of me and be willing to rest in God’s sovereignty over my life.

I have a dream, am I willing to rest in faith that God has one for me too?

Faith leads me to believe that His is way better than mine.

0 Categories : piety, ponderings, Theology
Jul
13

No Jumping Out Windows

by Rong

So, what do you write to your 20 year old when their world comes crashing down around them?

Son,
I’m writing because I know I won’t be able to say the things I’d want over the phone.

Am I disappointed, sure but probably not half as much as I know you are. If you’re anything like me you’re sick to your stomach with all the uncertainty that stands in front of you. I’d like to say the old cliche, “been there done that”, and while it’s true that I’ve found myself in the same type of gut wrenching situation, I know that doesn’t make yours any more palatable. The reality is there is nothing that I can say or do that is going to relieve the discomfort that you’re going to go thru until all of this has been resolved; one way or the other.

But I do want to offer you hope. I want you to remember that no matter what the outcome you are loved by many people and that doesn’t change because of your circumstance. Circumstances in life; come and go, can be good or bad, but they in themselves do not define who we ultimately are. Sure, they can point to areas in our lives that may need improvement but DO NOT let allow them to define how you view yourself. Always remember that by the redeeming blood of your Lord, you are a reborn creation. That is WHO you are and that is WHAT you are. Never forget that. THAT is what defines you, not any poor decisions you have or may make. While this may be a monumental moment at this point in your life, it’s a barely discernible blip on God’s eternal plan for you.

And I want to offer you something that you can always take to the bank; my love. I love you and that will never change. So be strong and know that I will be praying for you.

Always here,
Pops

0 Categories : forgiveness, ponderings

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